tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
