I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
