alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There r osticjed everywhere
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
