Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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