he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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