I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i believe in u and ur pee
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
