so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
