the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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