I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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