I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
