peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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