I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it was like eating out sand paper
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
