his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
As shirtless as possible
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
