well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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