id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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