when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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