I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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