the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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