All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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