dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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