Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
as a side note pls kill me
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
