my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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