She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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