you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
