R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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