No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I skipped work to stalk him.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
