wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize