i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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