Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
only you would photoshop your dick
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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