You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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