the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
People in love make me want to vomit
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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