Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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