I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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