we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize