did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
