oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
