So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
