We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
