If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
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its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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