"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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