Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
