you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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