I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
