I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it was like eating out sand paper
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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