nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
