Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
