John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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