I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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