Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
