I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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