I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
is wine microwaveable?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
