is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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