So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
