you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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