I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
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Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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