; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Me. At least after what I've been through.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
