After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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