Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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